On The First Day of Creepmas...

Grussvomkrampus.net

On the first day of Creepmas my true love gave to me...50 Shades of Krampus?

I was doing a little Creepmas browsing on Etsy and stumbled onto this lovely Krampus paddle by ProperNaughtyPaddles. This would be a fitting accessory to maybe <ahem> keep time while singing my Krampus Baby from last year.  

Being the curious person I am, I wondered what else was available for Krampus play. Sadly not a lot, although Damn Average usually has a Krampus phallus or two in stock.  But, and I could be wrong, but I feel like they're just slapping the Krampus name on their product.

Seriously how are there no Krampus crops or whips?  I can't believe everyone is kickin' it old school with a bundle of sticks.

But while I couldn't find much in the way of  Krampus toys, there seems to be a plethora of Krampus erotica. I didn't even have to dig around on sketchy websites, there are dozens of titles available at Amazon.

Unfortunately most of them don't have any reviews, so it's a shot in the dark to pick your poison.

Apparently A Naughty Boy for Krampus did so well they followed up with a A Naughty Boy for Krampus or Two.

A Kiss from Krampus: An Erotic Christmas Tail by Red Hanner seems to be the most widely read.

There's a great review on Cracked by Chris Sims about it. It didn't make me want to run out and buy a copy but I love this part of the review "...available for three bucks on your Kindle -- or, if you forget to check the right box at checkout like I did, the Kindle you got your mom for Christmas last year."

Then there is this charming young lady who was kind enough to read an excerpt from it.

I found this excerpt available at Smashwords.com of Santa In The Pink, Krampus In The Stink: An Adult Bedtime Poem by The Honourable Sir Edmund Quimlove  and I was so impressed that I had to find out how the rest goes.

Sorry Smashwords, I bought it on Amazon because I'm lazy and already have an account with them. 

Anyway I found it rather delightful, despite the crude title.  Don't get me wrong, it is a very explicit poem about double penetration in a three-way with Santa Claus and Krampus, but it’s well written in a way you might not expect if you’re judging solely on the title.

It’s an enjoyable balance between fun and titillation milled together with essence of “The Night Before Christmas” and a dash of “My Favorite Things”. 

If you are going to spend $.99 on one thing this Creepmas, it should be "Santa In The Pink..."

And don't forget to checkout the other participating Creepers at Creepmas.com.