Monday, July 6, 2015

Unicorn Glitter Farts

I think it's common knowledge that unicorns poop rainbows and fart glitter.  But don't just take my word for it, it's all over the internet, which pretty much makes it scientific fact.  Also smelling unicorn farts will definitely cure cancer.*
*Don't actually sniff glitter.  I'm not a doctor, but I'm pretty sure sniffing glitter can only end badly.   
I needed a dozen tiny bottles of unicorn farts, don't ask.  Do you know how hard it is to get unicorns to fart in those little bottles?  Anyway, have you ever had one of those days where you just can't find anything in the store that you need for a project?  That's exactly what didn't happen here.  I found these groovy bottles on sale, glitter on clearance and I was sporting a 20% off all purchases coupon. Sometimes the planets are just in the right alignment for frivolous nonsense.   

See how tiny they are?
See how giant the glue stick looks?
For my purposes I just needed the two smaller sizes.  I see they have another tiny vial pack that looks promising, but those weren't available at the store.  I picked up this glitter sample pack, even if it wasn't on clearance for $.99, it was a great assortment of rainbow of colors.

Putting glitter in a bottle doesn't really need a lot of explanation, but I'm not going to let that stop me.  If you're not interested in my ramblings you can grab the labels and skip the rest. 

This was my original design, but it didn't work well with the size I needed for the teeny bottles.  I used Glitter by Omega Font Labs for the word 'GLITTER' and ActionIs by Brain Eaters for the rest.  I used this picture to fill the text.  I love how together they have this Milky Way stardust thing going on, but sized down for the small bottles it just looked like my printer was running low on ink. 

So I made a couple simplified versions. In this case My Girl is Retro by KC Fonts was used for the word 'GLITTER'.


If you stuck around for my ramblings, here are a few things that I found useful for this project.  First I splurged and picked up a $.99 two pack of funnels, conveniently sold next to the glitter.  Both funnels have the same size nozzle which was a little disappointing.  They are nested together in the package so you can't tell just the top part is different.  They were the same exact size as the mouth of the long skinny bottles, so although I couldn't insert them into the bottle, a piece of tape kept them lined up together.  The funnels did fit the shorter bottles.
I also used this handy dandy Lego oar for scooping the glitter out of those tiny sample packs.  It was easier to control glitter amounts by the oar-full than to trust my pouring.  Lego also makes a nice shovel, but I preferred the oar. This was another glitter I got on clearance, two dollars worth of holographic joy, it's so sparkly.  It also comes with a secret hidden funnel, but it's just a smidge to big for the little jars. The chambers are deep with narrow openings, so I added the Lego light saber to extend the handle. I love Legos. 
Another high tech piece of equipment that was invaluable was a roll of athletic tape. It didn't have to be athletic tape, a short narrow dish would've worked.  I could have easily built something out of Legos.  I just needed something to set the jar in while filling so that if I bumped it, the whole thing wouldn't tip over. I found out the hard way that I'm not capable of knocking things over and that's a bad thing if you don't want the layers mixed. Tape wasn't my best idea, since any loose glitter stuck to the edges of the roll, so don't do that.
This could all be simplified by just putting any old glitter in a jar, but I wanted rainbow layers.  That means a color or two at time, gentle little tap to settle the glitter and move on to the next layers.  Fill the bottle almost all the way to the top, put the cork in and give it a few good taps. If the cork is in all the way and there is space add a bit more glitter. Keep tapping and adding until it's packed tight, this will keep the layers from shifting.  Remove the cork, add a little glue to bottom edge and re-cork.  Or don't and randomly share your glitter fart with the world.  Just remember glitter is considered craft herpes for a reason, so spread it with care.