It's been a while since I've done one of my potion bottles. This beautiful little nugget has been in my collection for years. Yes, this is a genuine piece of tofu, made with real soybeans, forged in the fires of Mount Doom or maybe somewhere close to that. It's charcoaled appearance is in no way reflective of my culinary skills, and has everything to do with the commitment that the folks at Genuine Artifacts take towards the authenticity of all their products.
The Genuine Artifacts home office is in Yalgoo, Australia. According to yalgoo.wa.gov.au, "Typically there is some confusion over the origin of the town’s name with some sources claiming that it is derived from an Aboriginal word yalguru meaning blood, thus suggesting that the area was connected with initiation rites. Other sources, however, suggest that the name comes from Eyalgru meaning bloodwood."
The inside of the card reads: Carbonized Tofu, Rare gem excavated from the tomb of vegetarian voodoo priestess, Mambo Kiskeya, who performed all her sacrifices using the blood of turnips, whole grains and virgin tofu.
While I do have a lot of fun with voodoo stereotypes,
I thought I would include this interview to create balance.
Here's a blank label if you'd like to make your own Genuine Artifacts. I glue the labels to cereal box cardboard for structure, but any thick cardstock will do.